What Defines A Successful Woman

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What Defines A Successful Woman

There is a lot of confusion when it comes to the definition of SUCCESS.

We use this word so much, yet lack a clear image of its true meaning. Too often, our beliefs turn out to be false assumptions which have been planted and nurtured in our minds—mostly, by mass media.

Here are some of the images that we automatically think of when asked to define a SUCCESSFUL WOMAN:

  • The Busy Woman – She is always running around, trying to squeeze in as many “to-dos” as she can into her list. She has back-to-back meetings and is so inundated with her busy lifestyle that she barely has time to eat.
  • The Female CEO – She is the woman whose voice matters the most in the boardroom. She manages a corporate empire and leads hundreds, or perhaps thousands, of employees. She is in command.
  • The Shopaholic – She shops impulsively, because she can afford everything that she wants. She has it all—at least, that is the impression people get from her.
  • The Achiever – She is the straight A student if life was a huge classroom. She has a long list of accomplishments, as evidenced by the multiple professional titles attached to her name.
  • Miss Congeniality – She brings life to any room with her bubbly personality. She can talk to anyone with ease, and has thousands of friends from everywhere.

Be honest, ladies. Did any description fit your definition of success?

If you answered “yes,” then this might sting a little—because belief in that list is a MYTH.

Debunk Your False Image Of A Successful Woman

The Busy Woman

Does NOT eating, sleeping, or taking a breather denote success to you?

This unhealthy image is so widely advertised, you can see it being blasted all over the internet. Basically, it says that if your life is not filled with back-to-back meetings, then you are not successful yet. WRONG!

That is obviously fake marketing, because success does not make you a slave to time. It gives you freedom—and not just financial freedom, but also the freedom to be present in every moment and the freedom to appreciate the good around us.

a. Success should mean freedom – not just financial freedom but freedom to be present in every moment, the freedom to appreciate the beautiful things around us.  True mark of success is Freedom.

When a woman has no time to pause, it’s only a matter of time until she becomes burnt out and resentful.

b. Success does not mean being a slaved to time. Success means freedom and if a woman has no time to pause in her work than it will only be a matter of time when she reaches burt-out resentment state. Or, the people around her feels neglected and unappreciated. THAT IS NOT SUCCESS.

c. If this is your ideal for success, then you could be heading into a path of anxiety and resentment. We are not made for prolonged anxiety and if we buy the idea that we are success means busy, we could fall into the anxiety trap and not even realize what is happening.

The CEO Woman

a. It doesn’t matter how many people you are leading if you are unhappy with who you are, it is not success. If you are serving the world but enslaving yourself than you are not free. There is no true success without freedom.

b. Leading other people is so rewarding but if the people you are leading are not inspired by you, then chances are,  you are not an effective leader. Your ability to lead people towards their highest best self is the true mark of success.  Success is a mark of contribution.

c. Success requires us to influence people towards their highest and best self. When we understand this definition of success, we then eliminate the false image that is damaging to our ability to measure our own success.

The Shop Til’ You Drop Woman

a. We all know that materialism does not equal happiness but we still fall into the trap of believing that we can only really be successful when we have so much money that we can shop until we drop.

b. I think part of success is having the freedom to buy what you need and want however, if buying what you want is does not have meaning, then you left empty.  Having enough money to provide and protect your family is very important. If you don’t have enough money to provide the basic essentials, this could cause some stress. Prolonged stress is damaging to overall health.

c. However, do you know people who have so much money they can buy a ticket to the moon and back and YET they are so unhappy? Yes, the answer is Yes. Money is not your ticket to success, but having purpose for your money will make you feel like a valuable human being, that is successful. So having lots of money is not the mark of success rather, having purpose with your money is what allows you to cultivate a life of meaning.

The Woman With Titles 

a. Titles are great accomplishments, however it is different from fulfilment. Achievement is what you get, Fulfilment is who you become along the path to achieving what you want to get. This is an important distinction because achievement should never be an end in itself.  You know people that have achieved great things but we not happy, which is inconceivable but you can see that achievement and fulfillment are not the same. The goal of having goals is to grow and if your accomplishments means, you are no longer open to further growth than you are stuck. That is not success.

b. Success should not be defined by what we KNOW but rather our willingness to GROW.

c. When we choose to grow, we are are not stuck, we are constantly chasing our highest best self and that is a fulfilling journey that leads us to true success.

The 3000 Friend Woman

a. How can someone with 3000 friends feel lonely? Can you believe that Loneliness in now a national epidemic. How could we be so hyper connected through social media but not be inter-connected.

b. The answer is simple.  We can be with someone for 2 hours and never get into a place of meaningful connection or we could be with someone for 5 minutes and have a deep meaningful conversation that nourishes our souls. It is a lie.

c. It is not the quantity of our friendships that lead us to a successful life, rather, the quality of our friendships. This is such an important distinction. The quality of our friendships create safe space for success. We can’t be successful and not feel safe, it is a facade.

So let’s define the elements of success.  Women go for success because ultimately, they want to be happy. We think that Busy, Money, Friends, Significance will make us happy by itself, but it can’t. So unless we redefine our meaning of success, we are limited in our happiness.

Success as I define it, is our ability to Impact human behavior to its highest good. To me, that is successful and everything else should be measured against our ability to contribute value to humanity, that is true success.

Here are some elements of success that we need to consider.

  1. You have to be FREE – and not slave to your to your work or to the opinion of other people. You cannot taste happiness unless you are able to rise above everyone else’s opinion of you.
  2. Contribution – You understand that your divine purpose is to contribute to humanity and that is what makes you happy.
  3. Meaning – Having meaningful work and connections is a mark of true success. It is not what we achieve, rather our ability to find fulfilment on the path to achieving our goals that allows us to live a meaningful life.
  4. Growth – There is not true success without growth. Growth means that we are personally developing ourselves to become our highest and best self.
  5. Safe – You can’t feel successful without the key people that you can trust and feel safe with your life. Being safe means, you belong and belonging allows us to feel true success.

Why is it so important to bust these myths?

Because now, every woman regardless of what you do can become successful. We are no longer limited to the images of busy, materials, friends – we can think beyond and above it.

An entrepreneur, teacher, mother, politician, nurse or whatever profession you belong does not limit your success. If we measure success by our ability to impact humanity to its highest good than every woman has a shot at success – even you!

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