“Be Kind, Be Present, Be Patient, Serve, Volunteer, Be Thoughtful”

“Be kind, be present, be patient, serve, volunteer, be thoughtful”

“Cook healthy, get up early, be organized, go above and beyond, think of everyone’s needs and FORGET ABOUT YOUR OWN, you don’t deserve them.”

I remember a Mother Theresa quote posted on my freshman hallway.  “The power of a woman lies in her capacity to RECEIVE and NURTURE LOVE.”.

WHAT?? Why is our power in RECEIVING??? That does not make sense, it seems so counterintuitive.  And yet, the quote struck me deep and has never left me.

A STRONG WOMAN as we know in the WESTERN WORLD is defined by someone who CAN DO IT ALL…ALL BY HERSELF! She needs nothing, She needs no-one because she has it all figured out. SHE DOES NOT NEED TO RECEIVE!  YIKES!

So, my question is, HOW DO WE GIVE WITHOUT FIRST RECEIVING?.  What can we CONTINUE to give when we are empty? How long can we give until we become resentful, depressed and angry?

Our subconscious mind (the 95% of our brain that is responsible for our behaviors) have been conditioned to GIVE, GIVE, GIVE WITHOUT RECEIVING. We have been neurologically programmed to be BE GUILTY WHEN WE CAN’T GIVE ENOUGH

Here are 3 key points on why we can’t give unless we first receive:

  1. STRESS CRISIS:  Over 70% of Americans are stressed, that is a big number. Women today are depleted, exhausted and in anxiety which is causing women to be stressed. We spend 2.7 billion dollars on antidepressants every year. That’s alarming. We have to become extremely AWARE of how to consistently refill our cups so we don’t run on empty. Every woman fuels differently, it is our duty to be clear on what refills our cup and refuels our ability to give.
  2. SELF CARE CONFUSION:  We have a growing self care industry that does not clarify the distinction between self care and self indulgence.  Overeating is not self care, movie binging is not self care, shop therapy is not self care. Though it might allow for temporary stress relief, it does not refill our cup. We are spiritual beings who need to be fulfilled at our deepest core. True self care is an integrated nourishment of our mind and body, it has to be both.  

The goal of self care is to RECEIVE IN ORDER TO GIVE MORE, BECAUSE GIVING IS OUR PATH TO FULFILLMENT.  We nourish ourselves so we can nourish from a place of abundance and not depletion.

  1. HUMILITY IS REQUIRED FOR RECEPTIVITY – HUMILITY comes from the root word – HUMUS – which means, dirt, a rich dark organic soil that allows for growth. We need humility to receive in order to give, it is so beautifully connected.  Humility requires women to accept the fact that no one is to do it alone and thrive, better yet, even survive. We are meant for community and true strength requires to be vulnerable enough to receive.

Let’s clarify the FALSE EXPECTATIONS ON GIVING.

  1. Can’t give without clear boundaries
  2. Can’t give out of guilt – it leads to resentment, anger and rebellion.
  3. You can’t give when you are depleted, it will lead to burn out or resentment.
  4. Can’t give unless you first fill your cup and receive.
  5. Giving has 1 purpose – CONTRIBUTION. If you are giving to ONLY benefit you, then it is unfulfilling. Giving is about contributing your light.

So the question is…WHAT DO WE NEED TO RECEIVE IN ORDER TO GIVE MORE:

Here is a quick list that will require further explanation in future trainings…stay tuned:

  1. RECEIVE INSPIRATION – you need to pay attention to what is around you.
  2. RECEIVE FEEDBACK – we need to study our actions, reactions and interactions, that way we can improve. We can learn so much from trusted friends who give us constructive feedback.
  3. RECEIVE TRAINING – We need to grow our mindset and learn new skills everyday, we have to train ourselves.
  4. RECEIVE HELP – No, we can’t do it all and we need to learn to ask for help.
  5. RECEIVE ADVICE – We can receive people’s advice to grace and learn from it. We can’t assume we have all the answers.
  6. RECEIVE FROM CRITICS – We can learn so much from our critics about how we can improve ourselves. Our critics give us opportunities to bring more clarity to our message and help us build resilience.

REMEMBER, to receive is to be able to give. The purpose of RECEPTIVITY IS GENEROSITY.

Lead the Charge Ladies! We need you to bring your light to the world.

Your friend and guide,

January Donovan

Let your light be your contribution.
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