I Was Betrayed

Dear ,

The surest way to gain critics is to start braving a BIG dream.

If you have critics, CONGRATULATIONS! It means you must be doing something brave.

When you decide to ACT on a dream and DARE GREATLY, get ready, those critics will come out swinging and it is often those that are dearest to us that pack the toughest punch.

I have personally dealt with my own critics and some were more painful than the others. I would say that family and friends carry the biggest sting for me…because they know what buttons to push.

I can still taste the day when I was intentionally humiliated!

One of my close friends plastered the letter of humility on my personal Facebook page to remind me that I needed some humbling. She felt that it was her duty to publicly humiliate me so I could feel the scorn of my own pride. I was in sheer shock! Shocked because I considered her one of my close friends, but also because we have not spoken in a couple of years.

Why didn’t she just call? How about a conversation? What happen to Trust? Integrity? Kindness?

I felt the betrayal in my gut.

I frantically called her, my heart rate was up, I became tunneled vision and I could feel my body shiver.

Even worse, she refused to take my call. She decided to text me some of the harshest criticism that wounded the deepest part of me.

“How could my friend treat me that way” I was confused.

“I had shown her deep respect and admiration for 18+ years”

I have never felt that level of betrayal as I did that sweet day.  But, as Jim Rohn said, “life doesn’t happen to you, it happens for you.”

I have used that painful exchange to fuel my courage to speak about the crisis of women judging other women.

I use that pain to remind myself that judgement from other women comes from their own wounds.

I remind myself that even well-intentioned souls like her, are worthy of my kindness. (Although, I am not always successful, but I try).

I remind myself that it is okay to end a friendship and it is ok to not like her.  It is okay to be angry and it is okay to not want anything to do with her in this lifetime. I can forgive her from a distance.

I remind myself to STOP JUDGING OTHER WOMEN – because it hurts to be judged.

I learned to be braver that day.

I learned to be more compassionate.

I learned there is no greatness without critics.

I learned that being BRAVE  means having the courage to keep going in spite, our critics.

I want to share this with you because…sometimes…we just need permission to be discouraged by our critics so we can RISE ABOVE IT.

Taste the pain…and then release it.

They do not have to have a hold of you.

We can’t go through life trying to escape the pain of the critics. We just need to learn the skill to FACE THEM.

Here is a quick video I made for you on how to face our critics. PLUS, some scripts you can use to FACE THEM.

Action Item:

  1. SHARE THIS ON YOUR WALL AND GIVE OTHER WOMEN, PERMISSION TO BE BRAVE.
  2. If you are interested in learning more about how to overcome your self-worth and coach other women to REBUILD THEIR WORTH, contact us at info@januarydonovan.com for more information.

Your guide and friend,

January

 

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