I have always dreamt of changing the world, or at least, a portion of it.
As a child, I was already convicted about having my own unique voice and mission, but that belief changed as I grew older and gained more “realistic” responsibilities.
I became convinced that my dreams were immature.
On top of that, I was often told that my dreams “limited” me to being a great mother and wife though these were all I should allow myself to be—because they are the most noble of all titles.
Other people’s opinions made me believe that to dream of creating impact and leading the charge seemed vain and I didn’t want that… So I rejected the voice inside of me that whispered, “DREAM BIG, JANUARY. EXPAND!”
It was replaced by a nagging voice that told me I would be a bad mother if I ever tried to do anything that required me to leave my children for more than half an hour.
I started to believe that being there in every second of their lives was what qualifies to be a good mother, and that working on my passion meant guilt.
There is no doubt that my family needs my presence… Being a mom will always be my first priority, but that doesn’t mean I should abandon that voice in my heart which eventually screamed, “DO SOMETHING GREAT FOR HUMANITY!”
BUT HOW? How can you do both?
What I Learned About Motherhood And Dreaming
Well, the truth is, what qualifies me to become a great mother is not equal to the amount of time or seconds I spend with my children. There are plenty of moms who are present every step of the way, but are resentful, jealous, tired, angry, and frustrated.
My problem was that I equated my self-worth, based on how much I poured into motherhood, 24 hours a day. The privilege of sitting on the couch for just five minutes to sip a hot cup of coffee, or taking half an hour to get dressed and ready have become a nagging guilt trip!
To serve others without serving our own needs is a suicide mission. My beliefs robbed me of my other call, which was to serve human hearts outside of my home.
Looking back, I realize that I have been telling myself lies that convinced me to play it safe and small.
My Takeaways On Being Brave In Chasing Your Dreams
Growing up, my mother was busy working all day long. She had no time for us, because she devoted it to building a business. This is why I collapsed being an entrepreneur with being a bad mother.
I didn’t know to tell myself another story. That was my experience, that was my story.
I felt in every fiber of my being that I was born to help other ladies, and fortunately, I met another woman who mentored me out of desperation. The need to give back grew inside of me, and that desire pulsated in my heart even after I became a mother.
“How can you be a good mom if someone else is taking care of your children for three hours out of the day?” I remember being asked this nagging question. It made me think that other women were criticizing me, and I responded by proving them wrong. I made sure I was present for my kids all day long.
And though I fought for my call to teach women… I was sleeping for only four hours, just so I could work while my kids were sleeping. I compromised my health for fear of criticism.
What if you were meant to find the cure for cancer—but you dropped that call because your belief is being a good mother = 24 hours a day?
Here are my TAKEAWAYS ON BEING BRAVE ABOUT YOUR DREAMS:
Stop judging yourself based on how others see you—follow your call.
Do not confuse playing it small with humility. That is faking it. Being truly humble requires us to step into something greater than ourselves and doing something that requires us to be uncomfortable.
Stop assuming that “big” means wealth and fame. It means that you are all in, that you are present in your journey… every step of the way. If you feel inadequate, equip yourself! If your dream is to become a full-time mom—train your mind, learn new skills, and thrive. If you want to work outside of the home or do both, then do the same.
Motherhood and your unique contribution to the world should not be at war. They are only in conflict with each other, when you do not have peace in both aspects. Strive for their harmony, because that is key to your greatness.
Stop judging. Choose to see the good in all women—whether they are single, stay-at-home moms, or working full-time or part-time. They are all giving it the best they can. It’s not your job to judge them, let God do that. Just get yourself busy in striving for the greatness you were called to do in your time here on Earth.
Whatever you choose to be, GO ALL IN!
Be kind to yourself, and hold people accountable if they have been unkind to you… Not in a rude way, and only when the time is ripe. Let them know that their judgement hurts.
Allow others to love your children. It is a gift that will bless them with more meaningful relationships in their lives. No, they are not replacing you if someone were to care for them a few hours in a day so you can work. Go for it.
Your first priority should always be your children, but do not confuse or abuse it. Being present for them does not mean being around the entire 24 hours in a day. Be present for yourself and your dreams, too.
Be the first to compliment women in your thoughts. Bless them. Empower them. Encourage them. If you want other ladies to feel your love, start within your mind because it is our thoughts that guide our actions.
Motherhood Is Not The End Of Your Dreams
Rise above false assumptions on motherhood and dreaming. Stay out of that drama. Instead, choose to follow your dreams… To train your mind and learn new skills to turn them into reality.